Wild turkeys on the highway.

Yesterday was ridiculous. There's really no way to explain it other than to just start typing.

My cousin was driving me into Boston to meet up with Small Asian Friend for an evening of long overdue festivities. Cousin's two kids (7 and 3) were in the backseat (adorable blue eyed children, I should add), being hilarious in the way only kids can be, when we pulled up next to a van at a stoplight. I have no clue how the van's driver was able to stay on the road the way her two hands were occupied. She had a cigarette in her left hand and an inhaler in her right hand. While at the stoplight, she alternated taking puffs of the cigarette with taking puffs from the inhaler. This is not a joke. The woman was literally killing her lungs with her left hand and then trying to breathe better using her right hand. Oh, did I mention the van had the words SCHOOL BUS on top of it? Well, it did. At least there were no kids in the van/bus. I was tempted to roll down my window and ask if I could sneak a puff, then see if she got confused as to which item I wanted to borrow.

We pulled away from the light and continued down the busy road for a bit. This road, you should know, was no small fry- it was Route [some #] and had a few lanes of traffic in each direction. After a few minutes Cousin says, "look, kids," and points out the left side of the car. I look for the object of her attention and see the largest wild bird I've ever seen in real life, trotting along the grass median. Yes, this bird was on the median in between the two directions of traffic. I was absolutely astonished. I asked Cousin what it was, thinking it might be a peacock whose ornate tail was detached in an unfortunate hit and run. She told me it was a turkey and looked at me a little oddly, as if I were a fool to not know a wild turkey when I saw one. It seems wild turkeys, while somewhat of an oddity here in LA and in NY, are fairly run of the mill out in the suburbs of Boston. Who knew? I must admit seeing a turkey out in the wild, just doing its thing, made me feel slightly guilty about consuming a turkey sandwich nearly every day. But only slightly. I have to be realistic. Subway's $5 foot longs are such great value for the money, I just can't say no.

Last night I went out on the town with some college friends. I wore a plaid flannel button down somewhat flowy shirt (apparently plaid flannel is back in) but became concerned halfway through the night that I might look too much like a lumberjack in the club's dark mood lighting. In order to solve the problem, and boost my self-esteem, Small Asian Friend decided to approach assorted club-goers at random, and ask them whether I looked like a lumberjack. If an individual responded in the negative, Small Asian Friend would tell me, "see? You look great!" If the person said yes, I did look like a lumberjack, Small Asian Friend would jump in with, "But a hot lumberjack, right?" and usually the person would respond affirmatively. This did nothing to assuage my concern, but it did provide some entertainment. I am confident, however, that I did sweat off a few pounds wearing the flannel shirt. A word of caution: think twice before wearing flannel out when you anticipate shaking your groove thang on the dance floor. It creates a real hot mess.