Saturday, April 23, 2011

Ok, so I took a longer hiatus than anticipated. I was basically boycotting all forms of communication following Pia being ousted from American Idol. (Ok, that's only partly true. I just boycotted blogging - only because I had to let this marinate before writing a rant for the whole world to see.) I actually think America has no ears. Or no fingers (with which to dial a telephone and vote for Pia). Seriously, America. Who are you? I barely recognize you right now. I don't even want to look at you. I'm done.

Since we last spoke (or since I last wrote at you), lots has happened. My firm's softball season started, and we won our first game! We are officially undefeated. We didn't just win - we actually demolished the other team. I felt kind of bad because we are a-hole corporate lawyers, and the other side was a non-profit (you know, people whose souls have not been stolen from them) doing good things for the world. But who am I to go easy on others who can't keep up with my (and my team's) athletic prowess? I mean, that's just not how you play the game. No one wants pity. People want competitiveness, and I give people what they want (in this context, at least). Our season opener was on the one day April has seen where it broke 60 degrees. It was glorious - I left work at 5pm, changed into shorts, a t-shirt, and my hot red cleats (go Wes), and breathed in that amazing dirt smell. Wait, no, was it dirt? No, I definitely didn't smell dirt. Did I mention my game was on 4/20? Right. It was THAT smell. I have a suggestion for all you members of the NYPD reading this. Next year, if you're low on summonses on 4/20, go watch a softball game in Central Park. I promise you'll find what you're looking for.

Now, the big news: I had jury duty earlier this month. (Shout out to my new friend NR from Utah!) I was called for service at the supreme court building downtown, and it was a terrific respite from work. I know most people hate jury duty, but I found it to be an excellent way to learn about New Yorkers. I spent the first day sitting in a large room, watching Verinoca Mars episodes, and waiting for my name to be called. I crossed my fingers hoping for a criminal trial. A big one. Like the mobster one. Or like the one in Legally Blonde. It was a slow day, so the clerk (or administrative guy- whatever he's called) who sat at the front of the room tried his hand at a bit of stand up. He was actually pretty good. I'm thinking about writing a letter to the state court thanking it for presenting potential jurors with such a great man for entertainment. You may have had to be there to appreciate these gems, but check it: At the end of the first day, the man stood at the front of the room and said, "So, if you have any non-pornographic magazines piling up at home that you'd like to share with your fellow jurors, feel free to bring them in tomorrow." (I thought about asking whether anime was acceptable, but decided against it. (Note, I do not actually own anime publications. Just so you know.)) I also chuckled at the end of the second day, when our comedian was saying goodbye to those chosen for juries to begin on the next Monday and warned: "Have a great weekend. Don't flee the country or get arrested between now and Monday. Stay out of trouble." What a great guy. I did not get to experience the joy of serving on a jury. I did, however, sit through voir dire. There were 18 of us in the room. Two lawyers asked all kinds of questions, but only to the first 8 people. Then they asked the same questions to the next 8 people. The last two of us obviously bonded over the fact that we were young, female, and clearly serving no purpose in the room. Good times. I learned that most New Yorkers (if jury selection pools are an accurate representation of New Yorkers, and I believe they are) have way more interesting jobs than I do. I sat in a room with an engineer who designs Starbucks stores around New York - how cool is that!? I was tempted to ask if she could hook me up, but she was dismissed before I had a chance. Apparently, the plaintiff's attorney in this slip-and-fall case didn't think an engineer for a corporate giant would be sympathetic to his client's complaint that the defendant had not complied with sidewalk safety codes. Ah, well.

Now that it's mid-April, I am thoroughly ready for summer. If only the weather would catch up with me. Come on, global warming! (Just kidding- global warming is a serious issue, and I should not be egging it on.) To get in the spirit, next weekend, Nittany J and some others and I are running a 5k for penguins at the Bronx Zoo. Seriously. And then the next day, I'll be back up in the Boogie Down to watch the Yanks kick some serious Canadian booty. Yay for summer (or early spring, which really feels like winter). I know you were concerned, so I am happy to report that I'm holding fast to my previously mentioned desire to run a half marathon. This week, Small Asian Friend and I entered the lottery for the Nike Women's (Half) Marathon in SF! I've wanted to run this race since I lived in LA. It combines so many amazing things - Nike, SF, Tiffany dog tag necklaces, music, and running outside. Pure joy. Please do me a favor and dedicate your 11:11 wishes this week to my successful lottery pick. I thank you.

Cheers to chocolate covered matzah and Easter bunnies.