Poor Bathroom Etiquette Irks Me.

Last week I was in the ladies' room at work, washing my hands before heading back to my office, when I witnessed an incident illustrative of a disgusting, disturbing and downright offensive trend of office behavior that violates even the most liberal of sensibilities. I'm sure you have many guesses as to what appalling thing I encountered in the loo, but I assure you whatever guess you have hazarded is incorrect. (I am glad, however, that you have enjoyed the interactive portion of this post.) Allow me to elaborate.

I was standing at the vanity looking at myself (critically) in the mirror when a partner who sits on my floor walked into the ladies' room. We exchanged smiles as we do when we see each other around the office (and all the while I know she is just barely able to keep herself from wrinkling her nose in distaste as she looks my outfit (black jeans, a v-neck t-shirt, a cardigan, and bracelets halfway to my elbow -- at least I'm wearing heels!) up and down and compares it to her own (business dress, matching business suit jacket, and pearls). I notice she is carrying a stack of papers as she walks into the stall. My eyes are glued to the mirror as she closes the stall door, and I panic, thinking, "where is she planning to put those papers while she does her business!?" And then she goes ahead and does it. This beautifully dressed, totally put-together partner puts her stack of papers on the bathroom floor. GAH!

When I was in fourth grade, my elementary school's gym teacher asked me to be in the school play (Annie) because I could do cartwheels across the stage of the cafe-gym-itorium without falling off. The bad thing about doing a play in a cafe-gym-itorium as a fourth grader is that you have to complete your costume changes in a regular old bathroom rather than a dressing room. During one such costume change I was so preoccupied with getting my foot in the hole of my leotard that I missed placing my foot back on my shoes and instead placed my poor bare foot on the bathroom floor. I jumped because it was cold and because even as a fourth grader I knew it was gross to touch the floor of a public bathroom. A few days later, a wart appeared on my foot, and I am still convinced that said wart appeared because my foot touched the bathroom floor.

I relate this anecdote not to tell you about my humble beginnings as a stage performer (they were humble, indeed), but rather to show the danger of touching the floor of a public bathroom. I have no doubt that touching papers that have touched a public bathroom floor are just as bad as setting your bare foot on such a floor, and I now fear for the health and safety of my co-workers. Allow me a public service announcement: next time you are walking towards the restroom with some work-related item in your hand, please (please!) put said item aside before entering the stall. Place it by the sink. Put it on top of the paper towel dispenser. Leave it on the floor in the hallway. Just don't put it somewhere that you'll have to touch it again before washing your hands. Because that's just not sanitary. And an unsanitary office is not a fun place.